guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
