Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
