And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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