She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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