Do you still have your period?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You ate ashes out of my bong
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
