I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she peed on how many people?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
