well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
