walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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