Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
