We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
