is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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