btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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