I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
