Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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