I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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