lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
