How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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