At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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