And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
