Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
