He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
