I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
