Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
