508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
