It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
