where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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