There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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