my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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