Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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