he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
