it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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