well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize