We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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