omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
