we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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