u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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