just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
