After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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