sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
