I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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