a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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