I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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