i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize