i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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