If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
