I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize