whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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