no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
