butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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