Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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