i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
