it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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