he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
