oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize