He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
