ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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