Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
