In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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