After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize