Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
