I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize