He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize