the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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