sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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