i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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