just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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