dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
