booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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