i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
